I was born at the age of twelve on an MGM lot...

Something terrible has happened.



Anne Hathaway is in talks to play Judy Garland in a new biopic. I nearly threw up when I heard the news. No, seriously.



Lemme explain a little...

When I was a little girl, first watching Wizard of Oz, I immediately connected with the beautiful girl who was born Frances Ethel Gumm. I have been in love with her ever since I can remember. She is a tragic woman, doomed from the day she opened her mouth to reveal a voice that was well beyond her years.



Her story kills me all the more, because when I look at her, I see an innocent and weak woman, overwhelmed by the world that tried to control her. I see an incredibly talented little girl, scared and frightened, being taken over by drugs and alcohol. She is such a sad figure, and yet...she is still strong somehow. She always had a smile and a joke. Her laugh is contagious and was one of the only things about her that held on dearly to that naive wide-eyed girl who just wanted to tell stories with her singing.



I think it's safe to say I adore this woman.

Judy Davis played this role as close as anyone is going to get in Me and My Shadows, and I still had many qualms about it. I don't see the need to do a whole other movie on her life a few years after the successful miniseries. Much less starring Anne Bloody Hathaway.

Take a look at my last pointless spiel on Elliot Reid and you've pretty much got my exact feelings on Anne Hathaway. I think she's an abominable actress, showing no range or diversity or genuine emotion.

I gave that piece of shit movie Rachel Getting Married a chance because I had to see Anne Hathaway play Kym, a recovering drug addict, for myself. Truth be told, I cared way more for her sister Rachel than I did about Kym.

Kym was over the top when telling everyone about her drug problems, and yet completely underwhelming when she was supposed to show some kind of vulnerability and shame. I didn't believe her character for one fucking second and yet, since this horrible movie came out, she's getting so much praise for being "edgy" and "real" while I still find her to be as boring as she ever was.

So now she is probably going to get the role of one of the most talented women in the history of cinema. A woman with a voice so powerful that many said she couldn't control it - instead, it controlled her. A voice that sounded the exact same all her life, displaying such raw emotion and sadness at 12 years of age as it did when she was 47. A voice that is one of the most easily recognisable for it's pure originality, strong vibrato (that she couldn't stifle even if she tried), and rich dynamics. And what's worse - Anne is supposedly going to sing all of the songs herself.

While Anne can carry a tune, she - nor anyone else (save for Liza Minnelli) - cannot come even slightly close to sounding anything like Judy. What a fucking joke!

I am fascinated by Judy. She's extraordinarily complex and I cannot see Anne Hathaway capturing her unwaivering humour, strength on top of extreme vulnerability, her fear of rejection and loneliness, her love/hate relationship with her audience, and her unfathomable insecurity that was instilled in her since her first audition at MGM.



In short, this casting decision disgusts me.

Anne, stick to being the weird-and-awkward-maybe-cute-at-best girl you do so well in those Princess movies and The Devil Wears Prada.

You already ruined one of my favourite childhood stories, Ella Enchanted...please just stop. Stop torturing me with your untalented self. My poor heart can't take it anymore!

On a lighter note, here are a few clips of Judy's more memorable performances:

"Zing! Went the Strings of my Heart" is one of Judy's first radio performances when she was only 12 years old. The reason this charming song sticks with me is because she performed this the day her father passed away. Her father was the most important person in her life, and she never got over his death. He listened to his little girl sing this song on the radio as he lay dying.




"You Made Me Love You" from Broadway Melody 1938 is an important song and scene for me because it showcases the sweet innocence of Judy before she became a star. Before the drugs and alcohol and self-consciousness took a toll on her. I love this clip as well because I still find it shocking that such an adorable little girl can sing like that.




Jo Hayden in For Me And My Gal was one of Judy's first roles that painted her as a desirable and sophisticated woman. Before then, she was stuck playing juvenile roles and begged to be seen as a sexual being, but had a hard time convincing studio bosses. I personally think Judy pulled this role off fantastically well. I was trying to find a different clip of the film -- of her performing at The Palace showing off her gorgeous legs -- but no dice. So here's Judy and Gene Kelly (his first movie role!) singing the delightfully sweet title tune.




Probably one of the most well-known Christmas songs, "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas" was actually written for the movie Meet Me In St. Louis and was first sung by Judy.




A Star Is Born is one of Judy's most famous movies, as it was considered her comeback. "The Man That Got Away" is from the film but since I didn't feel like looking for the original clip, you'll have to make due with this clip of Judy singing it on her television show.




And, of course, this wouldn't be complete without "Somewhere Over The Rainbow"



-Judy Garland